Not long into the flight from Bangkok to Christchurch via Sydney (on a Boeing 777 - something, and by the way I gather I said we did the first leg on an Airbus 280 when I should have said 380; it was enormous anyway) Lawson developed toothache. He took 2 Panadol to deaden the pain and promptly fell into a deep sleep; he wouldn't like it if I told you that he had his mouth open and snored a bit occasionally.
This meant that Lawson was completely unaware of the scene caused by the very large Australian, dressed in shorts and a baseball cap, who had wedged himself into the aisle seat on the other side of me.
This man looked as if he could eat a whole sheep each day let alone shear a few with one hand while playing the didgeridoo with the other. He was not only very broad but also very tall so that he had to sit with his legs akimbo, one sticking out into the aisle.
It was in the early hours of the morning that a stewardess rammed her trolley into the Australian's leg resulting in a volley of loud expletive; mostly 'shit' and 'f--k'. The Indian gentleman in the aisle seat opposite (who'd already escaped being knocked senseless earlier when the Aussie - having hauled himself out of his seat with great difficulty while still connected to his in flight entertainment headphones - got his swag bag out of the overhead locker and a heavy jar of unidentified substance fell out, narrowly missing the other man's head) looked fearful and even the American in the seat in front looked shocked.
The Aussie left the plane in Sydney. The flight was rather boring after that.
To add to Lawson's woes, we discovered upon arrival at Christchurch that his holdall had split in transit
Postscript: Lawson had his aching tooth removed by a 7 day a week dentist this morning, and Emirates is paying for a new bag.
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